July 31-August 1, 2009

Melinda, it was so great to see you. I could not even express how happy I was to see you. I miss you so much. I walked into your room, room 5306 on the third floor, I saw you sitting there with a smile on your face. You smiled at me and Britany and I was speechless. I just ran up to you and gave you a huge hug. I was just so extatic that I could not stop letting go of you hand or even stop looking at you. I just felt weight lift from my shoulders.....to be continued.....

Every day you learn something new.
It may be fake,
It may be true.
What you do,
Is unfourtanetly true.
Why you do it,
I have no clue.

You hurt yourself,
When theres no reason to.
Your my sister,
I look up to you.

You don't judge me,
And I don't judge you.
You stand up for me,
And I stand up for you.

You have helped me,
Now I wanna help you.
Cause without you in my life,
I don't know what I'd do.

You can stop what you do,
I believe in you.
But know matter what happens,
I will always love you.

I love you, Melinda with all my heart. Life is hard at times and the unexpected always pops up every now and then, but its God's way of shaking us up and making sure we are focusing on Him. He is the center of our lives and everything we do, we do for Him. If we aren't in line, He will put us in our place. Melinda, I have always loved you far more than I showed you. I know that our relationship was rocky and we had our differences, but I was just trying to be that big sister. I never meant to say awful words to you and I never meant to be so cruel. I take them back, I take every harsh word, or thought, or hitting you or all the things older sisters do. You are my little sister and my job is to protect you. I love you so much. I can't even say it enough. When I type this, it is the words I wish I could tell you right now. I want this to be something that bonds us closer together. I miss you, Sissy Melinda.

Sisters Forever!

Me and My Sister

Sisters don't need words. They have perfected a language of snarls and smiles and frowns and winks ; ) -expressions of shocked surprise and incredulity and disbelief. Sniffs and snorts and gasps and sighs- that can undermine any tale you're telling.

May 23-24, 2009

Melinda, I had such a wonderful time spending the night with you (5-25-09). I loved every moment of it. I was so excited to come and see you and was extremely happy that you opened your eyes, turned slowly to look at me, and then pulled your arm out to let me hold it. You squeezed so tight and it felt so good. I knew then I wanted to stay the night with you. It was a cold night, but it was so you didn't get too hot. There were two chairs, one that I sat in, and the other I rested my legs on. I just sat there and watched you sleep so peacefully. I just wanted to crawl in bed next to you and wrap my arms around you and fall asleep. You would have liked that, too. Everytime I would look at the clock, another hour would go by, time flew so fast. I just didn't the night to end. The nurse would come in every 20 minutes or so. I would stand up out of the chair to help. I helped turn you and lift you and suction out you mouth. When they needed to clean around your trachea, I let you squeeze my hands. I kept moisterizer on your lips so they wouldn't crack. The fan is always on and it dries out your lips. I put lime coconut lotion on your hands so they would be nice and smooth, too. I put a red with light pink polka dots in your hair, even though it wouldn't stay in, you looked so adorable with it on. Melinda, even though I couldn't do much, I did all that I could that night for you. I wish I could take all your pain away. I want to pray with you, "Dear Lord, we know that there are times that get tough in each of our lives whether we expect them or not. There will never be a way to stop them. But there is a way to get through them and that is with you, Father. You carry us through the storm. When everything seems at the peak, at the top, and there is no way to get down, stop...take a deep breath and trust in Christ. Father, we can get through this and we can fight to win. With your power we can do anything...anything. You are our rock, our redeemer, and you stand the ground for us to walk in your path of rightousness. You are Glorious! Father, heal my sister, give her the strength to never give up. Show her that there is a way out and that she needs to trust in you. Father, give her your eyes so she can see that you are leading her in the right direction. You are here with her and that you are guiding her to do the right thing. Father, thank you for letting her have a second chance, I know that you are a miracle maker and you do have hope in her that she will change her ways for you. She is a message to alot of people and I trust you, Lord that you are using her to save others. If that is why this has happened, then AMEN! I am ok with that. Thank you, thank you, thank you...I can't say that enough. Please, Father, give me the strength to keep going too. She needs me and so does Britany. Britnay needs her mom to be there for her and she needs to know you, Father. Father I just ask in your name that you will lay your hands on your children and bless them each day that goes by. I love you,God in your son's holy and awesome name Amen" Sissy Melinda I love you more than you will ever know. You are one of the most imortant things to me and I would do anything for you. You should know that ok. As the nurse was in the room giving you medicine and checking everything, you opened your eyes. I was talking to you and the nurse suggested that you sleep. So I held onto your hand and you held tight onto my hand. With my other hand, I played with your hair as you fell into a deep sleep. Your numbers came down and your heart rate went down to 99. I slowly slid my hand from underneath yours. You immediately opened your eyes so wide, you squeezed my hand and pulled it toward your chest. I was so happy. I said ok, I won't go anywhere ok. I am staying with you. So the same thing happened and I tried to slide my hand again, you immediately opened your eyes and squeezed my hand and brought it to your chest once again. You did that again another 3 times, until the nurse came in. I know that the reason you slept so good last night was, because you knew that I was close by and that I was there with you. The time wasn't long enough. It was the nurse's shift change and about 15 minutes later, they told me they had to bathe you, so I had to leave. I got to go back in after an hour had passed. Mom and Mema showed up and then the nurse recomended that you sleep for a couple of hours so we had to say by for now. I fell asleep and when I woke up, Bryan was there to pick me up. We had to go back home so I could do a test for one of my classes. I didn't want to go but I had to. So I went to see you and say by. I saw your eyes and I gave you a kiss on the forehead and I told you that I would see you again real soon. I don't think I mentioned that we are trying our hardest to move up there. I want to be with you and I know you would want me there with you. I love you so much and I am just so excited that I got to spend some time with you. It might not have been how I wanted to spend time with you, but at least it was better than none at all. Hugs and Kisses Sissy Melinda

Melinda, you are so amazing! I am so glad that we were close in age, because we are so close at heart. I was so happy when Mom called me and told me the great news today. You are really proving to everyone how strong you are. I can't wait to see you this weekend. I can't wait until you look at me show me your smile again. Believe it or not, your smile is so bright and it makes everyone else smile. The brightness just puts everyone in a good mood.

There Will Be A Day

Melinda, I dedicate this song to you, because I don't want you to hurt anymore. This song is about the day when there will be no more hurting and no more crying, and we won't have to think about the suffering. I love you, Melinda with all my heart and if I could trade places with you, I would. You are my sister and I would do ANYTHING for you and you know I would. I know you would do the same for me. So here is the song that I want you to hear:

There Will Be A Day

I try to hold onto this world with everything I have
But I feel the weight of what it brings, and the hurt that tries to grab
The many trials that seem to never end, His word declares this truth,
that we will enter in this rest with wonders anew

But I hold onto this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we'll hold onto you always

I know the journey seems so long
You feel your walking on your own
But there has never been a step
Where you've walked out all alone

Troubled soul don't lose your heart
Cause joy and peace He brings
And the beauty that's in store
Outweighs the hurt of life's sting

But hold onto this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place where no more suffering

There will be a day no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we'll hold onto you always

I can't wait until that day where the very one Iv'e lived for always will wipe away sorrow that Iv'e faced
To touch the scars that rescued me from a life of shame and misery this is why this is why I sing...

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face

There will be a day, He'll wipe away the stains, He'll wipe away the tears, He'll wipe away the tears.....there will be a day.